Welcome To Holland

I know it's been a long time since I've posted, but since we were just given some concrete dates for Raina's upcoming treatment, I figured I'd let Laura share some things from her heart. I do love her so much, and when I get to see her in her role as a mother on a daily basis, I fall even more in love with her. The following are Laura's words.

As most of you know, we will be seeking medical care for Raina at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. The surgeons at the Colorectal Center are known worldwide for their pioneering work and research in children with anorectal malformations. Therefore, there is no question in our minds that Cincinnati is the best place for Raina to be. We are blessed to have insurance that allows us to seek medical care at whatever institution we desire, even to travel out of state. We have received conformation of our itinerary and we'll be heading to Cincinnati on March 9-12. Raina will be undergoing many tests while there, including a few in the OR under anesthesia to determine what exactly is going on with her and the best treatment of care for her future. A date has not been set for her initial surgery yet. They will give us their first available OR time. We will be meeting with the colorectal surgeon, Dr. Levitt, whom we already love though we have never met him. Raina will be seen by a urologist and a pediatric gynecologist in the OR as well. Writing all of this makes my mommy heart hurt. I hate all that she will endure and I ask for your prayers for her and for us as a family as we walk this road together. I have enclosed a reading below that someone gave to me a while back. It is something I read often…especially on the days when I am feeling sorry for myself for my apparent lack of freedom and when I am overwhelmed by colostomy bags and endless therapy sessions. It helps me to put things into perspective again and makes me remember why I am Raina’s mom.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND By Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with special needs and disabilities- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this… When you are going to have a baby, whether biologically or through adoption, it’s like planning a fabulous trip- to ITALY! You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Colliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. After months or years of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go! Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland." “ Holland ?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland??? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy! All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy!” But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced that Italy , less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while you catch your breath, you look around… and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills… and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned. “And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss. But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland.

In our adoption journey, would it have been easier to go to Italy??? Less stressful??? Less painful??? To all of those questions, I answer most definitely YES!!! But, God in His infinite wisdom and beauty knew that we needed to go to Holland. And if we hadn’t, I would have missed out on the beauty in my daughter’s smile, the joy behind her giggles, and the ultimate heart-melting experience of having her grab my face with her tiny hands and say “Wo ai ni!” - (which means I Love You in Chinese). Yes, Holland is beautiful too and I thank God for the privilege of allowing me to go there. With love to you all, Laura